Australia 9/2/2019 - 9/22/2019

Saturday, 9/21/2019 - Progressive Lunch, Melbourne's Laneways

We ate breakfast with Forrest in the hotel dining room. Again, the ambiance of the dining room was quite cozy, and we enjoyed chatting with Forrest.

We went at around 9 a.m. in search of a greeting card to thank our guide Britney, as this was the last day of our trip. This was not as easy as we expected it to be. We stopped into several shops that we suspected might carry greetings cards (supermarket, pharmacy, convenience store). We inquired within, and the staff apologetically told us that they don't carry greeting cards. They were all incredibly helpful, suggesting other nearby establishments to try. However, the places they suggested either also no longer carried cards, or were out of business altogether.

Undeterred, we continued our quest. We eventully found our way to Mag Nation, a shop specializing in unique magazines and stationery products. There were many cards to choose from, and we even purchased a perfect birthday card for Craig's brother Steve, even though his birthday isn't for 11 months!

We stopped into some of the stores we had visited earlier, telling them that Mag Nation was the closest card shop, for future reference.

Yesterday we had noticed St. Paul's Anglican Cathedral, with its banner welcoming refugees. We had some free time this morning, so we decided to go inside. I paid $5 for a photo pass so that I could take pictures inside. Many people were stealthily taking pictures without paying, but we insist on following the rules. Give a donation to the church if you want to take pictures, for crying out loud.

The cathedral dates back to 1891. The interior is absolutely gorgeous, with beautiful stained glass windows, a pipe organ, and an opulent altar. We lit candles for Craig's Dad and my Mom. There was a baptismal font and also a small basin in which people could be submerged. A sign invited visitors to cross themselves with holy water.

We admired the Copper Refugee Sculpture by Michael Meszaros. It represents the various forces pushing on refugees from all sides, in the form of spikes and barriers. The figure is in the negative space, connoting that refugees are often seen only as statistics, having lost their humanity.

I have worked with refugees in Massachusetts, and I am ashamed of the current U.S. administration's policies toward refugees and immigrants. This statue was quite moving, and gave Craig a literal chill. It was close to a religious experience.

There was a plaque commemmorating the first ordination of women in Australia in this very cathedral, as deacons in 1986, as priests in 1992, and to the Episcopate in 2008. We were very impressed by the progressiveness on display here, as many churches are conservative and reinforce the status quo.

By now it was 10:45 a.m., time to get back to the hotel to meet for our foodie walking tour. To be honest, this was the activity on the itinerary that we were least looking forward to. Maybe because it sounded like such a hipster thing. We enjoy food, but we are by no means food snobs. We often prefer street food to fancy restaurants. But we kept an open mind and met the group in the hotel lobby. It had started to sprinkle rain, so we brought our light raincoats.

We met Sue, the guide for this excursion, and she handed out bluetooth earpieces. Luckily, these worked better than the ones we had at the Penguin Parade last night!

Sue led us down the street and stopped at the entrance to a laneway to dicuss the history of Melbourne. The laneways were originally built as alleyways to house the more dirty and industrial business of the city, including tanneries, etc.

As time went on, nobody wanted to live in the industrial city center. But in the 1980's, an urban renaissance blossomed. The laneways were transformed into hubs for cafe culture. Melburnians love their locally owned and operated cafes, and they are extremely loyal to them. As such, Starbucks has never been able to gain a foothold in Melbourne.

The sprinkling rain turned into a full-blown deluge. We huddled in doorways to put on our rainjackets and hoods.

Melbourne used to have a problem with graffiti, and they solved it by designating certain laneways as locations for artists to paint street art. It was enormously successful and now this graffiti-style art is a tourist attraction in and of itself. One such laneway is Hosier Laneway. Sue led us there. It was raining so hard that a river was running down the street. We scurried through the street, admiring the detailed murals as fully as possible given the circumstances. I was wearing glasses and they were completely obscured by raindrops.

Now it was time for the first course of our progressive three course lunch: entrees (appetizers) at Lucy Liu. We entered via a dingy entrance tunnel lit by a blazing red neon sign. We shed our wet raincoats and sat at high tables. Our placemats pictured animals of the Chinese zodiac. Mary was quite pleased with her dragon placemat, and posed with a dragon-esque snarl.

We were served a Kings Valley white wine and two Asian fusion entrees:
  • crispy pork bun with spicy kimchee and kewpie mayo
  • barramundi and scampi dumplings with chilli, ginger, and spring onions
Some people's first instincts were to deconstruct the pork bun, but Sue encouraged them to pick it up and eat it as served to fully appreciate the flavor and texture combinations.

We are rather ignorant about wine, and we don't usually know what wine pairs with which types of food, but even we could tell that this pairing was phenomenal, as it really enhanced the spicy and savory flavours of the food. And the wine itself was so smooth...I am usually a red wine fan, but this white was fantastic! Craig doesn't usually like wine at all, and even he was hooked.

We were both left wanting more of everything...wine, pork bun, dumpling. If this wasn't our final day in Melbourne, we would have certainly returned to this restaurant to explore more of their innovative menu.

By the time we were done with this course, the rain had stopped, the sun had come out, and there was a refreshing cool breeze.

Next we explored AC/DC Laneway. We had planned to visit this rock and roll themed laneway on our own, so we were especially happy that it was included in the tour! Named after Australian metal band AC/DC (and containing 2 murals in memory of Malcolm Young and one bas relief sculpture in memory of Bon Scott), it is the location of rock and roll themed street art. Jimi Hendrix, Led Zeppelin, Black Sabbath (featuring Ian Gillan), the Rolling Stones, Nirvana, Pink Floyd, Frank Zappa, the Beatles, Sleep Deprived Maniacs, and the Velvet Underground are all represented. There were also political statements, including Trump in a Donald Duck costume and Snow White and Cinderella kissing (the latter in celebration of the legalization of gay marriage).

There are other paintings in nearby laneways depicting Queen Elizabeth in running shoes, and one which we are pretty sure is Laurie Anderson. In many laneways we saw the same stencil art saying "Mark Zuckerburg is watching you" with a Big Brother-style depiction of the Facebook founder's face. A stencilled mural of Yoda with a Krylon spraypaint can was cleverly labelled "Prosecuted bill posters will be."

In some other laneways, only bill posting is allowed (as opposed to painting), which leads to sort of a peeling collage look.

As we walked through town, Sue pointed out some residual messaging from a climate change protest which had happened yesterday. We had been unaware of the peaceful protest, but we would find out later that Britney had actually attended it while we were off on our excursions. One statue of a famous Melburnian still had "THE EARTH" written on the front of it in chalk, and another statue was wearing a T-shirt promoting sustainabilty.

Our progressive lunch brought us to an Italian neighborhood for our main course. We entered The Mess Hall, walked to the back of the restaurant (with a view into the kitchen), and climbed some stairs up to a private room with two long tables. Pasta was served family style:

  • Duck papadel with ragout and cheese
  • Gnocchi w pomodoro and pecorino
The food was paired with an Italian red wine. It was all delicious, but it didn't have the same impact on us as the Asian fusion cuisine had. Maybe it's because it was more familiar.

Once we had all eaten our fill, we continued our laneway tour, admiring the street art. Some favorites of ours were an army of ants, which, when under a magnifying glass, turn out to be humans. Another depicts Gizmo (from Gremlins) under an umbrella, freaking out because rain is actually falling from inside his umbrella. That won't end well!

There was a memorial mural for Chrissy Amphlett of Divinyls, a native daughter of Victoria state. It incorporated a small sprinkler door in the wall as a tour gear case, and depicted her beloved dogs and school uniform (like AC/DC's Angus Young, this was her preferred stage attire). The laneway where the mural is located has been dubbed Amphlett Lane in her honor. She passed away in 2013 from breast cancer and complications from MS. This is sobering, and we are reminded how lucky Craig is with his health. Although he is no longer able to work due to his MS, his disease has responded well to treatment. He enjoys life and is able to travel. We have much to be thankful for.

We passed the Princess Theatre, which was all decked out for its current run of "Harry Potter and the Cursed Child." Melbourne is one of only 4 location in which the play has been staged worldwide (the others being London, NYC, and Toronto). Above the marquee was a statue of a boy inside what looked like a combination between a nest and a hollow Quidditch snitch. The gilded theatre shone in the sunshine in front of a bright blue sky. It looked magical, and if tickets had been available we probably would have all gone to see the show.

As we were admiring it, Sue told us about the theatre's storied history. In 1888, Frederick Federici was playing the role of Mephistopheles in "Faust." During the final act when he descended through the floorboards to the fires of hell with Dr. Faustus, the actor suffered a heart attack and died. The company, who hadn't realized that this happened, swore that he was onstage with them for the curtain call. Others have claimed to have seen a ghost in evening attire following that incident. For many years, they kept a 3rd row dress circle seat vacant for his spirit.

The final stop of our progressive lunch was right next door to the Princess Theatre: Gelateria Primavera. This dessert counter within the Spring Street Grocer offers fresh gelato and sorbet, in cones or cups. We could order 2 scoops in a cone or 3 scoops in a cup. Sue suggested that we order multiple flavors.

I ordered a scoop of salted caramel gelato and a scoop of coconut chocolate chip gelato in a sugar cone. The "cone" was shaped like a cup, which made it convenient to hold and consume. Craig opted for a cup with 3 scoops: salted caramel, fior del latte, and honeycomb and roasted pistachio. We gathered outside on the sidewalk to enjoy the delicious and flavorful gelato.

It was now 2:30 p.m., and our progressive lunch and laneway tour was complete. We all took the free tram to the Elizabeth Street and Flinders stop. As we exited the tram, we saw a guy in a wedding dress crossing the street, along with a handful of other men in drag (one was wearing a Wonder Woman costume). They were part of a stag party, and loved it when I snapped a photo of them. The groom laughed and insisted that his cleavage was real.

When we got to the hotel, we thanked Sue. Although we had not been looking forward to the foodie walk, we enjoyed it immensely. The food was amazing (especially the Asian fusion), and we really enjoyed the laneway tours. The street art was unbelievably cool, and was something we had wanted to check out anyway. Having a guide take us and explain the history and context was fantastic!

We went back to our room and started packing for the long journey home tomorrow. As we packed souvenirs, we realized that we needed a few last minute gifts. There were some shops right next door to the hotel, so we took a break from packing to buy a few items. We also arranged for the front desk to book a taxi to the airport tomorrow morning. Then it was back to the room, where we continued packing and enjoyed a drink.

At 6:15, we went down to the lobby to meet the group for our farewell dinner. Britney had made a reservation at the Duke of Wellington. We walked to the restaurant in the sprinkling rain.

It was bad timing as there was an Australian Football League playoff game going on at the Melbourne Cricket Ground in Yarra Park. The local Collingwood Magpies were playing Greater Western Sydney. As we had toured Melbourne earlier in the day, we had seen plenty of people wearing Magpies swag (and fewer wearing Sydney's colors). Anyone who was not able to attend the game was watching it in a pub, and the bar area of the Duke of Wellington was no exception.

Even though Britney had made a reservation, the 16 of us were crammed into a too-small table. The staff said we could split the food bill, but we would have to buy our own drinks at the bar. This was easier said than done. The cramped quarters meant that everyone on one side of the table was essentially trapped and unable to get up without displacing everyone else.

I went to the bar to buy drinks for Craig and myself. It was a madhouse. The game was on TV and it was very loud. The fans were also quite loud (and quite drunk). It was hard to hear myself order my own drinks. I ordered a Clockwork Orange cocktail (gin, peach schnapps, Aperol, lemon, and passionfruit) for myself and a Little Creatures Dog Days IPA for Craig. I paid for the drinks and the waiter handed me a receipt and walked away. He never gave me my $4 change. When I asked him about it, he insisted that he had. He gave me the beer and said that my drink would be delivered to the table. He asked where we were sitting. I told him that we were the party of 16 crammed against the wall in the other room. He seemed to have no idea where I was talking about. He seemed totally annoyed. I feared that my drink would be as lost as my change.

I was in a pretty crappy mood when I returned to the table. I explained the situation to my table-mates. Craig said I should look at my receipt to see what it claimed about the change. I read the receipt, only to find out that the barman had given me someone else's credit card receipt!

I was really worked up. It wasn't even the $4; it was the whole situation. They refuse to take our drink orders at the table because we are splitting the bill. They make us go to the bar where the bartender is so overworked that he is surly and making errors that he won't acknowledge. I just wabt a damn drink!

When our server came to the table I explained the situation. I told him that I hadn't gotten my drink, and that I also hadn't gotten my change. I handed him the other person's credit card receipt that had been given to me.

The server straightened it all out, bringing me the drink and the change. Again, it was the principle, not the cash. I ended up giving the $4 to the server on top of his tip. I don't think the barman ever admitted to his mistake though. What a hassle. I guess this was a sign that the trip was over and reality was encroaching.

Craig and I each ordered the same meal: the larmagiana. This is an Aussie "parma"...crumbed chicken schnitzel, cheese, napoli and lasagna, served with crinkle cut fries and a cabbage salad. We couldn't believe our eyes when it arrived...it was enormous! It was absolutely delicious, but we could easily have split a single order between the two of us.

Craig finished his beer and was very much wanting another, but there was no way he was going to ask me to go back to the bar again now that my blood pressure had finally returned to normal. And he didn't want to embark on a mission himself. But soon kindred spirit Brad presented him with a beer. Brad had gone to the bar for a refill, and had kindly gotten an IPA for Craig, knowing what a hassle I had gone through earlier. His thoughtfulness was gratefully appreciated.

The whole "farewell dinner" aspect of the evening was a a bit of a bust. The restaurant was so crowded that our table orientation was not conducive to conversation. Craig and I were at one end of the table, and Britney was way over at the other end. There was no way that we could converse with anyone at that end of the table, let alone her. In fact, we found out later that Alison had also ordered the larmagiana and found it hilariously oversized. But she was so far away that we never heard nor saw her order or eat.

At one point, we presented Britney with her cards and she came around to hug us and say thank you. The way the end of the trip is structured, we hadn't seen much of her since we arrived in Melbourne. It felt rather abrupt that this was our goodbye, abd that tomorrow morning we would be heading back home.

Britney was a great tour leader. This had been our first trip with G Adventures. It is a bit of a different model than we have experienced in the past. The tour leader acts as a coordinator. The group is not together 100% of the time. Every guest on the trip does not have the same experience, as there are a wide variety of optional excursions. It allows for a lot of flexibility and customization, which means that the tour leader needs to be on top of everything. They need to make sure that everyone is in the proper place at the proper time to participate in their scheduled activities.

Britney taught us so much, coordinated everything perfectly, and took care of everyone's individual needs, from mobility issues to dietary restrictions. And she certainly went above and beyond by cooking us that delicious Aussie barbecue in Port Douglas. She has a wonderful, calming personality, and she has tremendous respect for the nature and culture of Australia. We were very lucky to have her as our tour leader.

We all paid our bills at the restaurant and then walked back to the hotel. The football game must have just gotten out. The local Magpies having lost, it was chaotic outside. There were crowds of people, not many of whom were pleased.

Craig and I had contemplated going to see the hourly gas fire show by the river, but it was rather drizzly and the crowds put us off. Ever since Craig's MS diagnosis, he has become uncomfortable and anxious in crowds. He doesn't like the unpredictability, especially when he is trying to navigate with his cane. So we decided against it.

As we approached Flinders Station, we saw the Bat Signal projected onto a wall. Yes, as in the signal to summon Batman. It was surreal, and increased Craig's sense of unease. In the wake of the football loss, why did Batman need to be called? Was a riot inevitable? Others in our group thought it might be a reference to John Batman, one of the founders of Melbourne City. However, we found out later that it was in honor of Batman the super hero's 80th birthday. Weird. But I guess it makes sense to have D.C Comics representation in the city that sports Marvel Stadium...

We arrived back at the hotel and loitered in the lobby saying goodbye to our fellow travelers. Everyone would be heading home soon, with the exception of Alison, Sydney, and Forrest, who will continue on to New Zealand for two weeks. We were so exhausted after this marathon trip that we couldn't even imagine continuing on.

Again, it seemed rather anticlimactic. After 10 days of traveling together, this was it. We don't often take group tours, for a variety of reasons. However, it seemed like the right fit for this destination. We don't require any special attention from a guide in an English-speaking country. We took part in group activities, free time, and optional activities. We enjoyed the company of our fellow travelers. It is always nice to meet people that you hope to see again some day. We had exchanged contact information at dinner, and we said our goodbyes and wished each other a safe journey.

We went up to our room and finished packing while finishing off our remaining drinks.


 St. Paul's Anglican Cathedral

St. Paul's Anglican Cathedral

Copper Refugee Sculpture by Michael Meszaros

Copper Refugee Sculpture by Michael Meszaros

Delicious Asian fusion cuisine at Lucy Liu

Delicious Asian fusion cuisine at Lucy Liu

AC/DC Lane: Rock and roll street art

AC/DC Lane: Rock and roll street art

Laneway art

Laneway art

Italian cuisine at The Mess Hall

Italian cuisine at The Mess Hall (photo courtesy of Danielle)

Chrissy Amphlett Memorial

Chrissy Amphlett Memorial

Amphlett Lane

Amphlett Lane

Farewell dinner at the Duke of Wellington

Farewell dinner at the Duke of Wellington (photo courtesy of Alison)

Flinders Street Railway Station

Flinders Street Railway Station

See all photos from September 21





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